1 Zolonris

The Dog Ate My Homework Audience Definition

This article is about the phrase. For the CBBC panel show, see The Dog Ate My Homework (TV series).

"The dog ate my homework" is an English expression purported to be a favorite excuse made by schoolchildren explaining their failure to turn in an assignment on time. The claim of a dog eating one's homework is inherently suspect since it is both impossible for a teacher to disprove and conveniently absolves the student who gives that excuse of any blame. Although suspicious, the claim is not absolutely beyond possibility since dogs are known to eat—or chew on—bunches of paper. It has grown beyond the educational context, becoming a sarcastic rejoinder to a similarly glib or otherwise insufficient or implausible explanation for a failure in any context.

As an explanation for missing documents, it dates to a story about a Welsh minister first recorded in print in 1905. The Oxford English Dictionary suggests that a 1929 reference establishes that schoolchildren had at some time earlier than that offered it as an excuse to teachers. It was so recorded, more than once, in the 1965 bestselling novel Up the Down Staircase, and began to assume its present sense as the sine qua non of dubious excuses, particularly in American culture, both in school and out, in the 1970s. American presidents from Ronald Reagan to Barack Obama have used it to criticize political opponents, and it has been a source of humor for various comic strips and television shows, such as The Simpsons.

History[edit]

Origins[edit]

The earliest known variation[1] on the idea that written work might be adversely affected by the tendency of some dogs to chew on paper came in a 1905 issue of The Cambrian, a magazine for Welsh Americans. William ApMadoc, the journal's music critic, related an anecdote about a minister temporarily filling in at a country church in Wales. After one service, he cautiously asked the clerk how his sermon had been received, in particular whether it had been long enough. Upon being assured that it was, he admitted to the clerk that his dog had eaten some of the paper it was written on just before the service. "Couldn't you give our wicar a pup o' that 'ere dawg, sir?" was the punchline, in Welsh dialect. ApMadoc applied the lesson to some overly long musical compositions, but wondered whether the dogs might suffer indigestion from consuming paper.[2]

Six years later, the president of the Fire Underwriters' Association of the Northwest was recorded repeating the anecdote at the organization's 42nd annual meeting. He describes it as Scottish in origin, and some of the details vary. The visiting minister speaks instead to a younger member of the congregation, who complains that the sermon was too short. In his telling, the dog was not his but one in the street who ate some of the papers after a wind blew them out of his hand. This elicits the same response, rendered in Standard English rather than dialect.[3]

The excuse for the brevity of the document did not become the punchline for another 18 years. The first use of the phrase recorded by the Oxford English Dictionary was in 1929, in an essay in the British newspaper The Guardian: "It is a long time since I have had the excuse about the dog tearing up the arithmetic homework." This suggests it had been in use among students for some time prior to that.[1]

It was first reported in an American context in 1965. Bel Kaufman's bestselling comic novel, Up the Down Staircase, published that year, includes two instances where the protagonist's students blame their failure to complete their assignment on their dogs. In a section written as drama early in the book, one student refers to "a terrible tragedy ... My dog went on my homework!"[4] Later, a list of excuses includes "My dog chewed it up" and "the cat chewed it up and there was no time to do it over."[5]

Popularization[edit]

The phrase became widely used in the 1970s.[6]Young adult novelistPaula Danziger paid homage to it with the title of her 1974 debut, The Cat Ate My Gymsuit.[7] Two years later Eugene Kennedy described Richard Nixon as "working on the greatest American excuse since 'the dog ate my homework'" in the Watergate tapes,[8] and the following year John R. Powers had a character in his novel The Unoriginal Sinner and the Ice-Cream God reminisce about having used that excuse as a student.[9] Lexicographer Barry Popik, who called it "the classic lame excuse that a student makes to a teacher to cover for missing homework", found citations in print increasing from 1976.[10]

During the next decade, personal computers became more common in American households and schools, and many students began writing papers with word processors. This provided them with another possible excuse for missing homework, in the form of computer malfunctions. Still, "the dog ate my homework" remained common. In a 1987 article on this phenomenon, one teacher recalled to The New York Times that once a student had given him a note signed by a parent saying that the dog had eaten his homework.[11] The following year President Ronald Reagan lamented Congress's apparent failure to pass that year's federal budget on time, "I had hoped that we had marked the end of the 'dog-ate-my-homework' era of Congressional budgetry", he told reporters on canceling a planned news conference to sign the bills, "but it was not to be". His use showed that the phrase had become more generalized in American discourse as referring to any insufficient or unconvincing excuse.[12]

Use of the phrase in printed matter rose steadily through the end of the century. It leveled off in the early years of the 2000s, but has not declined.[13] During the 2012 United States presidential campaign, Barack Obama's campaign used it to rebuke Mitt Romney for not participating in Nickelodeon's "Kids Pick the President" special. "'The dog ate my homework' just doesn't cut it when you're running for president."[14]

In popular culture[edit]

In 1989 the popular sitcom Saved By The Bell debuted. Its theme song included the line "the dog ate all my homework last night".[1] Thus embedded in the American consciousness, it would be exploited for comic purposes in other television shows and comic strips. Users of the popular TV Tropes website have devoted a page to collecting examples from various popular media.[15]

It became an occasional running gag on The Simpsons, which also began airing that year, mostly playing off Bart's tendency to offer ridiculous excuses for all sorts of misconduct to his teacher Mrs. Krabappel. In a 1991 episode, a difficult day for Bart begins with Santa's Little Helper, the family dog, eating his homework. "I didn't know dogs actually did that", he says, and finds his teacher equally incredulous since he had used that excuse before.[16] In a later episode, when the dog goes to work for the police, Bart must eat his own homework for the excuse to work.[17] When Mrs. Krabappel begins dating Ned Flanders, the Simpsons' neighbor, at the end of the 2011 season, she sees Santa's Little Helper in the Simpsons' yard and asks if he is the dog who has eaten Bart's homework so many times. Bart's attempts to demonstrate this and thus lend credibility to his use of the excuse backfire.[18]

Humorists have also punned on the phrase. A Sam GrossNew Yorker cartoon from 1996 shows a Venetian classroom of several centuries ago where a standing student announces "The Doge ate my homework."[19]

Comic strips that feature anthropomorphized dogs as characters have found the concept of those characters eating homework a source of humor. In one of his Far Side panels, Gary Larson depicted a classroom of dogs whose teacher asks, "Did anyone here not eat his or her homework on the way to school?" In a 1991 Dilbert strip, a boy on the street asks Dogbert to chew on his homework so he can have the excuse; in the last panel the boy, beaten, is shown in class claiming a dog made him eat it.[21]

There have been three different books that used the excuse as a title. Two have been collections of poetry for students with a school theme,[22][23] and one has been a business book about lessons dogs can teach about accountability.[24] Other books for young readers have had titles blaming aliens[25] and the protagonist's teacher[26] for the missing homework. A two-act children's musical called A Monster Ate My Homework has also been written.[27]The Dog Ate My Homework is the title of a British comedy/competition show first broadcast in 2014 on CBBC.[28]

References[edit]

  1. ^ abcForrest Wickman (October 9, 2012). "Why Do We Say "The Dog Ate My Homework"?". Slate. Retrieved October 14, 2012. 
  2. ^ApMadoc, William (September 1905). "Music". The Cambrian. XXV (9). Retrieved October 14, 2012. 
  3. ^"Proceedings of the 42nd Annual Meeting of the Fire Underwriters' Association of the Northwest". HathiTrust Digital Library. 1911. Retrieved October 15, 2012. 
  4. ^Kaufman, Bel (1965). Up the Down Staircase. HarperCollins. p. 41. ISBN 9780060973612. Retrieved October 15, 2012. 
  5. ^Up The Down Staircase, 155.
  6. ^Scott Simon and Forrest Wickman (October 13, 2012). "Can The Dog Still Eat Your Homework?". National Public Radio. Retrieved October 14, 2012. 
  7. ^Danziger, Paula (1974). The Cat Ate My Gymsuit. HarperPutnam. ISBN 9780142406540. Retrieved October 16, 2012. 
  8. ^St. Patrick's Day with Mayor Daley and other things too good to miss, p. 87, at Google Books
  9. ^Powers, John R. (1977). The Unoriginal Sinner and the Ice-Cream God. Chicago: Loyola Press. p. 165. ISBN 9780829424294. Retrieved October 16, 2012. 
  10. ^Popik, Barry (August 28, 2012). ""The dog ate my homework" (student excuse)". barrypopik.com. Retrieved October 16, 2012. 
  11. ^Freitag, Michael (January 4, 1987). "Blackboard Notes: Excuses Go High-Tech". The New York Times. Retrieved October 16, 2012. 
  12. ^Rasky, Susan (October 1, 1988). "Congress Meets Spending Bill Deadline". The New York Times. Retrieved October 16, 2012. 
  13. ^Ngram viewer. Google Books. 2012. Retrieved October 16, 2012. 
  14. ^Lisa de Moraes (October 8, 2012). "TV Column: Romney snubs Nick's 'Kids'". Washington Post. Retrieved October 14, 2012. 
  15. ^"A Dog Ate My Homework". TV Tropes. Retrieved October 16, 2012. 
  16. ^John Swartzwelder (October 10, 1991). "Bart the Murderer". The Simpsons. Season 3. Episode 39. Fox. 
  17. ^John Frink (May 13, 2007). "Stop or My Dog Will Shoot". The Simpsons. Season 18. Episode 398. Fox. 
  18. ^Jeff Westbrook (May 22, 2011). "The Ned-Liest Catch". The Simpsons. Season 22. Episode 486. Fox. 
  19. ^Gross, Sam (March 18, 1996). "The Doge ate my homework". Conde Nast. Retrieved October 5, 2016. 
  20. ^Adams, Scott (March 27, 1991). "March 27, 1991". Dilbert.com. Retrieved June 8, 2015. 
  21. ^Holbrook, Sara (1996). The Dog Ate My Homework. Honesdale, PA: Boyds Mill Press. ISBN 9781563976384. 
  22. ^Lansky, Bruce (2009). My Dog Ate My Homework. Meadowbrook. ISBN 9781416989134. 
  23. ^Dwyer, Joe (2011). The Dog Ate My Homework. Indianapolis, IN: Dog Ear Publishing. ISBN 9781608449644. 
  24. ^Coville, Bruce (2007). Aliens Ate My Homework. New York, NY: Simon and Schuster. ISBN 9781416938835. 
  25. ^Greenburg, Dan (2002). My Teacher Ate My Homework. Penguin. ISBN 9780448426839. 
  26. ^Christiansen, Arne (1995). A Monster Ate My Homework. Englewood, CO: Pioneer Drama Service. 
  27. ^"The Dog Ate My Homework". British Comedy Guide. Retrieved July 3, 2014. 

Josh v Jenna The Dog Ate My Homework


Subtitles Found! We found subtitles for the program Josh v Jenna. Please use the links below to download them, or go here for a preview

Download Subtitles


Discover the new Facebook emoticons!

Transcript



Two teams fight it out to dodge detention. Iain Stirling is joined by child team captains Josh and Jenna and special guests Jack Carroll, Naomi Wilkinson, Tez Ilyas and Bec Hill, who battle it out in a series of hilarious rounds and challenges.

Iain Stirling is joined by child team captains Josh and Jenna and special guests Jack Carroll, Naomi Wilkinson, Tez Ilyas and Bec Hill.


Similar Content

Browse content similar to Josh v Jenna. Check below for episodes and series from the same categories and more!

LineFromTo

HE SNORES LOUDLY

0:00:020:00:04

DOG PANTS, MAN GRUNTS

0:00:100:00:13

PANICKED SHOUTS AND SCREAMS

0:00:130:00:16

LAUGHTER

0:00:160:00:18

BELL RINGS

0:00:210:00:23

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:00:500:00:52

Hola, amigos!

0:01:020:01:04

LAUGHTER

0:01:040:01:05

I'm Iain Stirling and welcome to The Dog Ate My Homework.

0:01:050:01:08

You've turned on the TV,

0:01:080:01:10

you've turned up the volume and I've...

0:01:100:01:12

turned up the handsome.

0:01:120:01:14

Let's take today's register.

0:01:170:01:18

On my right, a boy who in science class claims

0:01:180:01:21

he can turn himself into the Incredible Hulk.

0:01:210:01:24

Always bigging himself up!

0:01:240:01:25

It's Josh! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:01:260:01:28

Here, sir!

0:01:280:01:30

And on Josh's team, a comedian who has performed to thousands

0:01:300:01:34

on BBC One's mega hit Live At The Apollo,

0:01:340:01:38

or as we like to call it,

0:01:380:01:39

The Dog Ate My Homework warm-up show.

0:01:390:01:42

-It's Jack Carroll.

-Here, sir!

0:01:420:01:44

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:01:440:01:45

Finally, on Josh's team, a comedian obsessed with Twitter.

0:01:450:01:49

So I can only introduce her in 280 characters or less...

0:01:490:01:54

Sorry, I've ran out of characters, which is a shame because

0:01:540:01:56

-I had a very good joke lined up. It's Bec Hill!

-Here, sir!

0:01:560:01:59

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:01:590:02:00

To my left, a girl who has the world's biggest collection

0:02:020:02:06

of paperclips, and if you lay them end to end, it still

0:02:060:02:11

doesn't make it any less weird.

0:02:110:02:13

It's Jenna!

0:02:130:02:14

-Here, sir!

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:02:140:02:16

On Jenna's team, a wildlife presenter who recently learned

0:02:160:02:20

that if you join all the dots on a leopard, you should run away.

0:02:200:02:24

It's Naomi Wilkinson. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:02:240:02:26

Here, sir!

0:02:260:02:27

Last but not least, on Jenna's team, a comedian whose new stand-up show

0:02:280:02:32

aims to make politics fun.

0:02:320:02:34

How'd you do that, by not talking about it?

0:02:340:02:37

Yawn!

0:02:370:02:38

Politics is actually very important, kids,

0:02:390:02:41

and you should learn about all the parties.

0:02:410:02:43

It's Tez Ilyas!

0:02:430:02:44

-Here, sir!

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:02:440:02:46

Can we please applaud both teams?

0:02:460:02:48

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:02:480:02:50

Stare straight ahead, smile, don't burp,

0:02:530:02:56

and try not to pick your nose.

0:02:560:02:58

What? Oh, that was... that was just for me?

0:02:580:03:01

Sorry, sorry.

0:03:010:03:02

But what our teams have to do is battle it out for

0:03:020:03:05

my precious golden stars.

0:03:050:03:07

-AUDIENCE:

-Ooh!

0:03:070:03:10

I'll award bonus stars to anyone who makes me

0:03:100:03:12

burst into spontaneous song, although please don't do that,

0:03:120:03:15

because it would be awful.

0:03:150:03:17

But be warned, give it all that and I'll take those stars back.

0:03:170:03:22

-AUDIENCE:

-Aww!

0:03:220:03:24

Hey! Don't grumble, because it's Iain's school, so it's...

0:03:240:03:27

-AUDIENCE:

-Iain's rules!

0:03:270:03:29

I've got a catchphrase.

0:03:290:03:31

The team with the most stars at the end of the show are our winners,

0:03:310:03:33

while the losers face detention with a man

0:03:330:03:35

scarier than the tissue your gran keeps up her sleeve. Eugh!

0:03:350:03:38

It's Mr Smash.

0:03:380:03:40

Argh!

0:03:400:03:41

BOOING

0:03:410:03:43

HE GRUNTS AND LAUGHS

0:03:440:03:46

Argh!

0:03:500:03:51

Argh!

0:03:540:03:56

Huh? Ha-ha-ha-ha!

0:03:590:04:01

LAUGHTER

0:04:030:04:06

I mean, that was ridiculous.

0:04:060:04:08

So stupid.

0:04:100:04:12

Trust me, you don't want to go shopping with Smashy,

0:04:130:04:15

it's a nightmare, so let's get on with the show!

0:04:150:04:18

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:04:180:04:19

Time now for Stick To The Point.

0:04:240:04:26

-ANNOUNCER:

-Stick To The Point!

0:04:260:04:28

I'll ask questions and if our teams are too slow, repeat an answer

0:04:280:04:31

or just shout "I cannae take it!", which happens quite a lot,

0:04:310:04:35

we'll put them in the shush position.

0:04:350:04:37

Can I see your shush positions, everyone?

0:04:370:04:39

Lovely. Lovely.

0:04:390:04:41

But of course, to do this, I need my stick of pointiness!

0:04:410:04:45

UPBEAT ROCKY GUITAR MUSIC PLAYS

0:04:450:04:48

Thank you very much.

0:05:000:05:02

And go again.

0:05:020:05:03

UPBEAT ROCKY GUITAR MUSIC PLAYS

0:05:030:05:05

Smash and the dog, everybody! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:05:140:05:18

So you know the rules, last team speaking wins,

0:05:180:05:20

we are going to start easy.

0:05:200:05:21

Things you would find in a science class.

0:05:210:05:24

-Josh?

-Thermometer.

0:05:240:05:25

-Lovely stuff. Jenna?

-Tripod.

0:05:250:05:27

Tripod, lovely stuff.

0:05:270:05:29

-Bec?

-Bunsen burner!

0:05:290:05:31

Why did you say it like that?

0:05:310:05:33

It's more fun that way.

0:05:330:05:35

-Naomi Wilkinson?

-Mrs White, she was my chemistry teacher.

0:05:350:05:38

-Jack!

-Explosions.

0:05:380:05:40

They're pretty easy to find.

0:05:400:05:42

-Jenna?

-Thermometer.

0:05:420:05:43

Thermometer, we've had it! BUZZER

0:05:430:05:45

-Unlucky, Jenna, shush position.

-Oh, no!

0:05:450:05:48

-Josh?

-Gas tap.

0:05:480:05:49

Gas tap, yes.

0:05:490:05:50

-Naomi?

-Very fetching science goggles.

0:05:500:05:53

Lovely fetching science goggles.

0:05:530:05:55

-Jack?

-Gravity.

0:05:550:05:56

You do find gravity, mate. Tez?

0:05:580:06:00

The skeleton hanging off a string.

0:06:000:06:02

-Lovely stuff. Bec?

-Gas?

0:06:020:06:04

Just gas. Not the tap.

0:06:040:06:06

Gas. Just farting all the time.

0:06:060:06:07

"I've done a trump." "Get away from the Bunsen burner!"

0:06:080:06:11

-Naomi?

-The periodic table.

0:06:130:06:15

Yes, please. Josh?

0:06:150:06:16

BUZZER Shush position. Mate, unlucky.

0:06:160:06:19

-Naomi?

-Erm...

0:06:190:06:20

Shush position! Jack.

0:06:200:06:23

Desks.

0:06:230:06:25

I can see where this is going then.

0:06:250:06:27

-Tez?

-Thermometers.

-BUZZER

0:06:270:06:28

-We've had it!

-I know!

-Oh, Tez!

0:06:280:06:31

Shush position.

0:06:310:06:32

Points go to Josh's team!

0:06:320:06:33

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:06:330:06:35

OK, next subject.

0:06:370:06:39

Apps you wish existed.

0:06:390:06:42

-Naomi?

-An app to explain your jokes.

0:06:420:06:45

APPLAUSE

0:06:450:06:47

Don't applaud that!

0:06:500:06:52

Why are you applauding that?

0:06:520:06:53

Right, you!

0:06:530:06:55

She walks about, you act like a CBeebies presenter.

0:06:570:07:01

HIGH-PITCHED VOICE: "Oh, I'm so sweet!"

0:07:010:07:04

I'm onto you, Wilkinson!

0:07:040:07:06

HE WHISPERS: I'm on to you.

0:07:060:07:08

And if you applaud one more thing she says...

0:07:080:07:10

APPLAUSE No, no.

0:07:130:07:15

Apps you wish existed, Josh?

0:07:200:07:21

An app that does your homework for free.

0:07:210:07:23

-Oh, does it for free.

-That's a good one, that's a good one.

0:07:230:07:26

-KID IN AUDIENCE:

-Yeah!

-Look at one kid. "Yeah!"

0:07:260:07:29

-Tez?

-Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?

0:07:290:07:33

And then it just says you.

0:07:330:07:34

Oh, thanks, mate.

0:07:360:07:38

-Jack?

-Angrier Birds.

0:07:390:07:41

Angrier Birds!

0:07:460:07:47

-Tez?

-Instagran, so when you're feeling lonely,

0:07:470:07:52

you just call up a gran and they come and make you feel better.

0:07:520:07:55

-Yours are nice.

-Do you know what, bonus gold star for cuteness, Tez.

0:07:560:07:59

-Thank you!

-You're welcome. AUDIENCE:

-Ooh!

0:07:590:08:02

Let's see if we can get more cuteness.

0:08:020:08:03

-Josh!

-An app that tells you what to wear for the day.

0:08:030:08:06

Yes, please.

0:08:060:08:07

Or as it's also known as - Iain Stirling's Instagram.

0:08:070:08:11

-Naomi?

-An app that gives you superpowers.

0:08:110:08:13

Yes, please.

0:08:130:08:15

Josh!

0:08:150:08:16

-An app...

-Mm-hm?

-..that's...

-That, mm-hm?

0:08:160:08:19

BUZZER Shush position, mate.

0:08:190:08:20

You're not fooling me.

0:08:200:08:22

An app...

0:08:220:08:23

..that...

0:08:260:08:27

..completes my sentences?

0:08:280:08:30

-Naomi?

-Erm...

0:08:310:08:34

BUZZER

0:08:340:08:35

Shush position. Jack?

0:08:350:08:37

Candy Crush, where if you lose you get crushed by a load of candy.

0:08:370:08:40

-Dairy Milk.

-I like it.

0:08:410:08:43

-Tez?

-An app that lets you travel through so that you can

0:08:430:08:45

just get from one place to another in a split second.

0:08:450:08:48

-What would you call it?

-Erm...

0:08:480:08:50

Snap Go.

0:08:500:08:52

Snap Go.

0:08:540:08:55

HE IMITATES TEZ: I'd call it Snap Go.

0:08:560:08:59

Snap Go, bro.

0:08:590:09:00

Is that you looking around... I'd call it, um, Stick Mug.

0:09:000:09:03

Jack?

0:09:050:09:07

BUZZER Shush position.

0:09:070:09:09

-Jenna?

-An app that when like... if you want to play football,

0:09:090:09:12

it just makes a football pitch.

0:09:120:09:15

Wow.

0:09:150:09:16

An app that's like going outside.

0:09:160:09:18

-Bec?

-Snap Hat...

0:09:210:09:23

IAIN LAUGHS

0:09:230:09:25

..where you can turn into a hat.

0:09:250:09:27

-Jenna?

-An app that...

0:09:280:09:31

BUZZER Shush position, it's fine.

0:09:310:09:33

-Bec?

-Snap Cat.

0:09:330:09:34

What happens?

0:09:370:09:38

Turns you into a dog, it's quite surprising.

0:09:390:09:42

-Tez?

-Snap Hat.

0:09:430:09:45

-BUZZER We've had it!

-Oh!

0:09:450:09:47

That means points go to Josh's team!

0:09:470:09:49

BELL RINGS, CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:09:490:09:51

And at the end of that round, I can reveal that the gold star goes to...

0:09:510:09:55

..Josh's team!

0:09:570:09:58

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:09:580:10:00

Time now for Lunchbox Of Lies!

0:10:040:10:06

-ANNOUNCER:

-Lunchbox Of Lies!

0:10:060:10:10

In a moment, I'll ask each member of the team to describe

0:10:100:10:12

the wild and wacky contents of their lunchbox.

0:10:120:10:16

However, one lunchbox is empty, meaning that one of the teams

0:10:160:10:20

is telling a porky pie.

0:10:200:10:22

But all the other team has to do is guess who's fibbing about what's in

0:10:220:10:25

their lunchbox. We'll start with Josh's team,

0:10:250:10:28

so can you please stand up and tell the team what's in your lunchbox?

0:10:280:10:32

We'll start with you, Bec.

0:10:320:10:34

It's some coloured pencils and pencil case

0:10:360:10:40

with Jelly Babies and jelly beans.

0:10:400:10:44

There you go.

0:10:460:10:47

Josh, what's in your lunchbox, mate?

0:10:470:10:49

It is hot dogs on a bed of ping-pong balls.

0:10:490:10:53

"On a bed of," he said it like he was a Michelin chef.

0:10:550:10:58

IN FRENCH ACCENT: "On a bed of ping-pong balls."

0:10:580:11:01

Jack?

0:11:010:11:02

It's a rubber duck floating in a gravy boat.

0:11:040:11:08

There you go. You can ask these guys anything you want about what's

0:11:080:11:11

in their lunchbox and identify who's telling the porky pie.

0:11:110:11:14

What about Bec's pencil case filled with jelly beans?

0:11:140:11:18

Yeah, I think so!

0:11:180:11:20

What sort of pencil case is it?

0:11:200:11:22

-A clear one, clear plastic one.

-That's how she can see inside it.

0:11:220:11:25

All right, and what's in the pencil case?

0:11:250:11:27

The jelly beans and Jelly Babies.

0:11:270:11:28

They could be Gummi Bears.

0:11:290:11:31

You don't know the difference between a human being and a bear?

0:11:310:11:35

Josh, are they real hot dogs or toy ones?

0:11:350:11:38

-They are toys.

-How many?

0:11:380:11:40

There's about eight.

0:11:400:11:43

How many ping-pong balls?

0:11:430:11:45

-I can't count.

-You can't count?

0:11:450:11:48

-No.

-Jack, what was in the gravy boat again? Remind me, a rubber duck?

0:11:480:11:52

Rubber duck.

0:11:520:11:54

A little bit of detail for you - it's got a hat, like a...

0:11:540:11:59

a bowler hat and some sunglasses on.

0:11:590:12:01

Not being funny, Jack, but if I did see a duck and it had a hat and some

0:12:020:12:06

sunglasses on that would be one of the first things I'd mention.

0:12:060:12:09

Can you just move it around in the gravy and then show us the gravy on

0:12:100:12:13

your fingers?

0:12:130:12:14

I mean, I could do it...

0:12:140:12:16

-But you're not going to.

-No, I'm not going to.

0:12:160:12:19

Where Jack comes from, you don't waste good gravy!

0:12:190:12:23

I'm not putting me fingers int'gravy boat

0:12:230:12:26

and wasting all me gravy!

0:12:260:12:27

I'll drown the duck!

0:12:270:12:29

Where's Jack from?

0:12:310:12:32

He's from the north, but he spent quite a lot of time in Scotland!

0:12:320:12:36

What do you guys think?

0:12:380:12:40

-Bec.

-You think Bec?

0:12:400:12:41

-Yeah.

-OK, Bec, please reveal if you have the lunchbox of lies.

0:12:410:12:46

CHEERING

0:12:460:12:48

Yay!

0:12:480:12:50

Oh, instant!

0:12:500:12:52

And just for completion,

0:12:540:12:56

Jack and Josh, can you please show us your lunchbox of lies?

0:12:560:13:00

There you go, look.

0:13:000:13:01

-BEC:

-That is some old gravy.

0:13:030:13:05

-ANNOUNCER:

-School disco!

0:13:050:13:08

School disco!

0:13:080:13:09

MUSIC: Don't Be So Hard On Yourself by Jess Glynne

0:13:090:13:12

RECORD SCRATCHES, MUSIC STOPS

0:13:250:13:27

It's now time for Jenna's team to have a look inside

0:13:270:13:29

their lunchbox, so can you all stand up, please?

0:13:290:13:32

We'll start with you, Naomi Wilkinson,

0:13:320:13:35

what's inside your lunchbox?

0:13:350:13:37

Pineapple with googly eyes and lots of space men flying around.

0:13:370:13:43

Flying around.

0:13:430:13:44

Jenna, what's in your lunchbox? Tell me, please, tell me.

0:13:440:13:48

A rubber glove with carrot fingers and...

0:13:490:13:53

..a human hummus.

0:13:540:13:57

A human hummus?

0:13:570:13:59

LAUGHTER

0:13:590:14:01

What are you made of, like, skin and bones?

0:14:040:14:06

No, chickpeas.

0:14:060:14:08

LAUGHTER

0:14:080:14:10

-Tez Ilyas!

-I've got a classic gift of a gift wrapped slice of pizza...

0:14:110:14:15

..on a nest of party blowers.

0:14:160:14:20

OK. Do you want to ask them any questions?

0:14:200:14:23

Yeah, who's lying?

0:14:230:14:24

Any questions, Bec? Go on, you can ask them anything.

0:14:240:14:27

You might want to ask what a human hummus is, for example.

0:14:270:14:31

What colour are the spaceships?

0:14:320:14:34

-It's spacemen.

-Oh, sorry, spacemen.

0:14:340:14:36

And they're all different colours.

0:14:360:14:38

There's two little tiny white ones with yellow pants on.

0:14:380:14:42

What, spacemen with just pants on?

0:14:420:14:44

Yeah. All different colours.

0:14:440:14:46

-Tez?

-Yes?

-What flavour pizza is it?

0:14:460:14:49

It's cheese and tomato with...

0:14:490:14:51

..pepperoni. And what else? Olives.

0:14:530:14:57

If it's giftwrapped, how did you know?

0:14:570:15:00

Because it's been opened.

0:15:000:15:03

Do you want to ask Jenna anything about her rubber glove carrots and

0:15:040:15:09

-human hummus?

-Is the hummus in a packaging?

0:15:090:15:13

-It's in a tub.

-It's in a tub!

0:15:130:15:15

Does the tub have a sell by date?

0:15:150:15:17

Does the tub have a sell by date, Jenna?

0:15:170:15:19

-Erm, no.

-Josh?

0:15:210:15:23

Who do you think has got the Lunchbox Of Lies?

0:15:230:15:28

I'm going to go for Tez.

0:15:280:15:30

Really? After he made such a convincing argument?

0:15:300:15:34

Tez, do you have the Lunchbox Of Lies?

0:15:350:15:37

No!

0:15:370:15:40

APPLAUSE

0:15:400:15:42

Look! It's giftwrapped in paper and it's giftwrapped, see!

0:15:440:15:50

I've explained it quite well.

0:15:500:15:52

No, you explained it terribly,

0:15:520:15:54

that's why they thought you were lying.

0:15:540:15:56

OK, Jenna's team, can you please reveal who has the Lunchbox Of Lies?

0:15:560:16:01

It's Naomi!

0:16:030:16:05

I really wanted to see the spacemen in their pants.

0:16:060:16:10

-Yeah.

-I mean, it's a bit worrying that that's what Naomi thought up.

0:16:100:16:14

OK, at the end of that round, the Gold star goes to...

0:16:150:16:18

Jenna's team! APPLAUSE

0:16:190:16:22

Oh, yes baby!

0:16:260:16:29

-It's time for Pie The Supply.

-Pie The Supply!

0:16:290:16:33

Once again four dodgy-looking dudes and dudettes

0:16:330:16:36

have waltzed into the studio -

0:16:360:16:38

we really do need better security -

0:16:380:16:40

all claiming to be real deputy head teachers,

0:16:400:16:43

but only one is telling the truth.

0:16:430:16:45

All our teams have to do is decide which one and if both teams fail to

0:16:450:16:50

pie the real teacher, then there will be a penalty.

0:16:500:16:54

EVIL LAUGH

0:16:540:16:56

SPECIAL EFFECT WEARS OFF

0:17:000:17:03

I'd make a rubbish super villain.

0:17:070:17:09

Talking of which, let's meet the teachers.

0:17:090:17:11

We have,

0:17:110:17:13

Mr Campbell, Mr McAlinden,

0:17:130:17:17

Mrs Smith, Mr Hou.

0:17:170:17:21

So there are your four teachers, OK.

0:17:210:17:24

Josh's team, all I want from you guys now, first impressions.

0:17:240:17:28

You're looking at them. Who screams headteacher, but not quite yet?

0:17:280:17:33

Headteacher, someone's in the way.

0:17:350:17:38

So what do you think Josh? You're at school.

0:17:390:17:41

Which one of those four looks teachery to you?

0:17:410:17:43

-I'm thinking number three.

-Oh, number three, OK.

0:17:430:17:47

We'll go over to Jenna's team.

0:17:470:17:49

Jenna, what do you think?

0:17:490:17:51

-Three.

-You think three as well?

0:17:510:17:53

Three is in the lead for the pie at the minute.

0:17:530:17:56

Right, now we can delve deeper now, we'll go to Josh's team.

0:17:560:17:59

You can ask questions.

0:17:590:18:00

What questions do you want to ask our deputy heads?

0:18:000:18:02

You can ask them individually, you can ask them as a group,

0:18:020:18:05

you can do what you like but ask away.

0:18:050:18:07

What does a deputy head actually do?

0:18:070:18:09

Good, very good question.

0:18:090:18:12

OK, number one, what does a deputy head actually do?

0:18:120:18:15

-Erm...

-LAUGHTER

0:18:150:18:17

Oh, come on mate, make an effort, you put a suit on special!

0:18:170:18:21

Well, I think, I think the main job is to kind of delegate well.

0:18:230:18:27

Number two, what does a deputy head do?

0:18:280:18:30

Just general duties at the school

0:18:300:18:32

and when the head's not there I'll...

0:18:320:18:34

When the head's not there that's when I shine!

0:18:340:18:37

The head's gone, kids! Let's wreck the place!

0:18:380:18:42

Number three, what does a deputy head actually do?

0:18:420:18:45

They look after their naughty children at lunchtime.

0:18:450:18:48

AUDIENCE: Ooh!

0:18:480:18:50

And number four, what does a deputy head actually do?

0:18:500:18:52

-Admin.

-Admin.

0:18:520:18:54

That's all I do, admin.

0:18:540:18:56

OK, we'll go over to Jenna's team.

0:18:560:18:58

Any questions for our teachers?

0:18:580:19:00

Can I see your most serious stare, all of you?

0:19:000:19:02

Oh, yeah, let's do that. Let's go from four backwards, yeah?

0:19:020:19:05

When you're really cross with a student.

0:19:050:19:08

On the count of three, number four,

0:19:080:19:09

I want you to go from happy to your most sinister...

0:19:090:19:13

There, happy and you're sad!

0:19:130:19:16

-AUDIENCE: Oh!

-Oh!

0:19:160:19:18

Let's go to number three.

0:19:180:19:20

You're happy...

0:19:200:19:22

-And you're angry.

-Oh, she looks sad.

0:19:220:19:25

Number two, this is going to be good.

0:19:250:19:28

He's happy, he's angry.

0:19:280:19:30

AUDIENCE: Oh!

0:19:300:19:33

His beard got about a metre longer.

0:19:330:19:35

LAUGHTER

0:19:350:19:36

Finally number one, you're happy, you're angry.

0:19:370:19:41

LAUGHTER

0:19:430:19:46

Looks like he's wee'd himself.

0:19:460:19:48

-Get them to tell you off.

-I've got a question, Iain.

0:19:500:19:52

-Off you go.

-Given the constraints in educational budgets that teachers

0:19:520:19:57

have been facing over recent years...

0:19:570:19:59

What's that? No, it doesn't matter, we're out of time, Tez.

0:19:590:20:01

-Oh, thank you.

-LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:20:010:20:04

-What if I got up on this chair?

-Jenna, have you got a question?

0:20:040:20:07

So, if I jumped on the chair, what would your reaction be?

0:20:070:20:12

There you go. I want you to imagine Jenna is jumping on the chair.

0:20:120:20:15

You're going to tell her off.

0:20:150:20:17

Here we go. Number four!

0:20:170:20:20

-I would pick her up.

-AUDIENCE GASPS

0:20:200:20:22

-Pick her up.

-What?

0:20:220:20:24

-Whoa!

-SINGS THE LION KING THEME

0:20:240:20:26

Tell you what, you wouldn't jump on your chair again, Jenna.

0:20:310:20:34

Tell Jenna off for jumping on her chair, number one!

0:20:350:20:38

If you're defying me then you would soon know about it.

0:20:380:20:41

AUDIENCE: Oh!

0:20:410:20:42

Defy me?

0:20:420:20:44

LOW VOICE: If you defy me you will know about it.

0:20:440:20:48

Hello, is that a little child?

0:20:490:20:52

You have defied me.

0:20:520:20:54

I am going to send number four to come and pick you up.

0:20:540:20:57

LAUGHTER

0:20:570:20:59

SINGS THE LION KING THEME

0:21:010:21:03

OK, Jenna's jumping on her chair, tell her off, number two!

0:21:030:21:07

Jenna, I would be very disappointed in you.

0:21:070:21:09

AUDIENCE: Oh!

0:21:090:21:12

I'm not angry, I'm disappointed.

0:21:120:21:14

When your mum says that to you, you know you're in deep soupy trouble.

0:21:140:21:19

Number three, finally, Jenna's jumping on her chair, tell her off.

0:21:190:21:22

Jenna, you're making me really sad right now,

0:21:220:21:24

can you just get down off the chair?

0:21:240:21:26

That's the most monotone...

0:21:260:21:28

ROBOTIC VOICE: Jenna, you are making me feel incredibly sad right now.

0:21:280:21:31

You've had your questions, audience, they're going to need your help,

0:21:330:21:37

who do you think is the real teacher?

0:21:370:21:40

One, two, three, or four?

0:21:400:21:42

Vote now!

0:21:420:21:44

AUDIENCE SHOUTS SUGGESTIONS

0:21:440:21:46

OK, OK!

0:21:490:21:51

Come on, guys, better shush. It's your own time you're wasting.

0:21:530:21:57

OK, Josh, you're up first.

0:21:580:22:01

Who do you think's lied and who's about to get pied?

0:22:010:22:04

It's time for you to Pie The Supply.

0:22:040:22:06

Pie The Supply!

0:22:060:22:08

On you go, Josh,

0:22:080:22:10

gently place the pie into the face of the person

0:22:100:22:14

you think is the deputy head teacher.

0:22:140:22:17

Nice and gently.

0:22:170:22:19

Into the face, gently, gently.

0:22:190:22:22

AUDIENCE: Oh!

0:22:220:22:23

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:22:260:22:28

It's stuck!

0:22:300:22:32

We've had the first pie stick of the series.

0:22:380:22:40

Right, go and sit down, Josh.

0:22:420:22:43

So, you're welcome, number two.

0:22:430:22:46

OK, Jenna?

0:22:460:22:47

Please go and Pie The Supply.

0:22:470:22:49

Pie The Supply!

0:22:490:22:51

Go on Jenna, gently place that pie into the face

0:22:520:22:56

of the person you think is the deputy head teacher.

0:22:560:23:00

Go on, Jenna, nice and gently.

0:23:000:23:02

Place the pie into the face.

0:23:020:23:04

AUDIENCE: Ooh!

0:23:040:23:06

GASPS AND APPLAUSE

0:23:060:23:08

OK, let's find out,

0:23:180:23:20

would the real deputy head teacher please step forward?

0:23:200:23:24

CHEERING Yay!

0:23:280:23:30

Oh! That means the gold star goes to Jenna's team!

0:23:360:23:41

APPLAUSE

0:23:410:23:43

OK guys, time now to play the... LAUGHTER

0:23:450:23:49

Time... Time now...

0:23:510:23:53

For, time now for spelling...

0:23:530:23:55

Spelling Bees.

0:23:550:23:57

Spelling Bees!

0:23:580:24:01

Go get changed, go get changed.

0:24:010:24:03

Team captains, you're the beekeepers so Josh,

0:24:050:24:09

who do you want to be your bee?

0:24:090:24:11

-I choose Bec.

-OK, lovely stuff.

0:24:110:24:14

-And Jenna.

-Naomi.

-Naomi!

0:24:140:24:16

OK, in that case it's Bec against Naomi - let's get ready to bumble!

0:24:160:24:22

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:24:220:24:24

OK, guys, I'll shout out words and all our two teams need to do

0:24:260:24:29

is grab the letters to spell out those words.

0:24:290:24:32

The team who spells the most correct words at the end are our winners.

0:24:320:24:36

-So, beekeepers, are you both ready?

-Yep.

-OK, bees, are you ready?

0:24:360:24:41

-Yeah.

-Your time starts on your first word and the first word you're

0:24:410:24:44

looking for is, Naomi!

0:24:440:24:47

SHOUTS OF ENCOURAGEMENT

0:24:470:24:49

-Come on, Naomi! Come on!

-Get it in! Get it in! Get it in! Get it in.

0:24:490:24:52

Get it in. Naomi! Oh! Oh!

0:24:520:24:55

Get it in! Aargh! Oh!

0:24:560:24:59

Get it in. Come on, Naomi!

0:24:590:25:00

You're stronger.

0:25:000:25:03

-Ah! Naomi's down!

-Come on!

-Come on, Naomi!

0:25:030:25:05

This is a health and safety nightmare.

0:25:070:25:09

OK, Naomi, the next one is Loves.

0:25:110:25:13

Loves, next. Loves.

0:25:130:25:15

-What?

-Loves. SHOUTS OF ENCOURAGEMENT

0:25:150:25:17

You've got it, you've got it, we've got one, we've got one!

0:25:170:25:20

Loves.

0:25:200:25:21

Start spelling, Jack.

0:25:210:25:23

Loves. We want Loves next, mate. Loves.

0:25:240:25:26

-Loves.

-Right.

0:25:260:25:27

Loves. Come on. Come on!

0:25:270:25:31

Get in that circle.

0:25:310:25:33

SHOUTS OF ENCOURAGEMENT

0:25:330:25:35

-Yes! Yes! Come on!

-Aah!

0:25:370:25:38

Loves. We need Loves. We need Loves.

0:25:410:25:45

Nature. The final word is Nature.

0:25:450:25:47

You can do it, Naomi.

0:25:470:25:50

BELL RINGS

0:25:500:25:51

Times up, stop, stop, stop!

0:25:510:25:54

Stop, stop.

0:25:540:25:56

It's all over. Naomi, how do you feel?

0:25:560:25:58

How do you feel, Naomi? NAOMI PANTS

0:25:580:26:01

Pretty hard, this game. Pretty difficult.

0:26:020:26:06

Jack? I've been told you put the V in after time.

0:26:060:26:08

Get rid of that V.

0:26:080:26:10

Did I? Did I do it after...

0:26:100:26:12

Mate, put it down.

0:26:120:26:14

-I wonder where...

-So "Naomi loes".

0:26:140:26:17

-And you got "Naomi love".

-Ah.

0:26:180:26:20

It's supposed to be "loves", which means you both got Naomi.

0:26:220:26:25

So you both got one each which means both teams get a gold star!

0:26:250:26:29

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:26:290:26:32

And that's just about it, all we can do now is add up the stars.

0:26:350:26:40

AUDIENCE: Ooh!

0:26:400:26:42

And the winners are...

0:26:470:26:49

..Jenna's team! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:26:500:26:53

Well done, Jenna's team, you are the winners.

0:26:550:26:57

Unfortunately, Josh, not only does the dog eat your homework

0:26:570:27:00

but you have to spend detention with Mr Smash.

0:27:000:27:02

It's time to take the walk of shame.

0:27:020:27:06

# La, la, la, la-la-la, la la Losers!

0:27:060:27:08

# La, la, la, la-la-la, la la Losers!

0:27:080:27:10

# La, la, la, la-la-la, la la Losers!

0:27:100:27:12

# La, la, la, la-la-la, la la Losers!

0:27:120:27:14

# La, la, la, la-la-la, la la Losers!

0:27:140:27:16

# Losers! #

0:27:160:27:18

So that's your lot.

0:27:180:27:20

As ever, we probably didn't learn much but it was fun trying.

0:27:200:27:23

See you next time on...

0:27:230:27:26

AUDIENCE: The Dog Ate My Homework!

0:27:260:27:29

Sees ya!

0:27:290:27:31

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:27:310:27:32

Leave a Comment

(0 Comments)

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *